My dad became infinitely strong in my eyes, when he became most vulnerable through confession to me.
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” 1 Corinthians 13:11 ESV
I choose laughter. I choose joy. I choose gratitude. I choose to live expectantly and take the life experiences, both good and bad to shape my future. There is hope for the future that comes from the life-limiting or life-empowering historical moments that shape our future. I choose empowerment and I pray you will too.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 ESV
When my mother was promoted to Heaven almost 25 years ago, my world was devastated. She was my rock. My greatest supporter. My lifeline. My encourager. She was my protector. And maybe, she was my enabler. Whatever descriptions that I use for my mom, she was the purest form of love that I knew on this earth. Then, she was gone.
“But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Hebrews 5:14 ESV
I remember asking my dad, “why didn’t you say anything?, when I was sharing with him about accepting God’s Grace & Mercy, about surrendering my whole life to Jesus Christ, about the realization of the Homy Spirit living within me. My dad responded, “would you have listened?” It was in that moment of that profound response by dad to my question that God opened my eyes to the value of the earthly father sitting in front of me. The truth is, ‘no, I would not have listened.’
“For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Hebrews 5:12-14 ESV
You see for decades I had chosen to focus on the failings of my dad in my childhood. I had chosen a victim’s mentality versus a mature recognition of the value of the man in front of me. My dad was not perfect by a long shot. But man o man, he was a great father. Through personal life trauma, through decades of professional disappointment, through the rejection of his son, through the loss of his beloved and cherished wife, through it all, he stayed. He was steadfast. He provided. He prayed. He loved.
“Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.” 1 Corinthians 14:20 ESV
So when my father asked those life illuminating words of “would you have listened,” he followed up with, “so I prayed for you.” And he had, for decades. I can only imagine those lonely days, weeks and even months where he did not hear from his son. His prodigal son. His immature, selfish, self-absorbed, narcissistic son, who avoided the mirror by focusing blame outwardly where introspection and personal responsibility was needed. Then God said, it is time.
“Until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,” Ephesians 4:13 ESV
I found joy and reconnection after the devastating loss of my mother. I miss her every day, but with joy in my heart and thankfulness that she did not have to live how her life would have been. I found purpose in her leaving through the reconnection with my dad. There I am old cliche that says “be careful or you might get what you ask for.” When I asked my dad about his childhood and life, I wept as we spoke that Tuesday afternoon over the phone for over 3 hours. As he shared, I realized that ‘my dad has been so much better than his dad, and his dad’s dad, and on and on.’ My dad was the next link in a chain of generational curses and he was doing his best to hacksaw through that chain. And he did!
“Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.” 1 Corinthians 14:20 ESV
For the 23 years that I had my dad after my mother’s passing, he became my best friend. He became the father to me that he consistently was while his immature boy blamed and ran. His steadfast love for me amazing me to this day. My dad went from a father, to a friend who was my dad. He became a my closest source of guidance and encouragement. He guided me as a father to young children often teaching me to not repeat the broken things of the past. He was my spiritual guide, theological source and most beautiful example of what a godly man should look like.
“So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.” 1 Peter 2:1-3 ESV
Why do I write all of this? Because I work with men and young men on a daily basis whose live have been derailed. I write this because these good men and young men that I work with have and are living lives devoid of a father. Sometimes lacking a mother in their life but almost always without a father. My Father in Heaven gave me a great dad, through whose example I now express the hope of a future, the purpose of a man, the role of a father, the love of our Dad in Heaven. My dad’s example compels me to pray. To observe. To love. To walk alongside. But more than anything else, to pray.
“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.” 2 Peter 3:18 ESV
Whatever you have been through, there is purpose. Wherever you are currently, there is hope. Whatever road you are currently traveling, the Father sees you, the Son died and rose again for you and the Holy Spirit desires to abide within you. Just ask and receive.
“Thank you, dad. I am listening.”
You’ve got this.
My dad became infinitely strong in my eyes, when he became most vulnerable through confession to me.
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” 1 Corinthians 13:11 ESV
I choose laughter. I choose joy. I choose gratitude. I choose to live expectantly and use the life experiences, both good and bad to shape my future. There is hope for the future that comes from the life-limiting or life-empowering historical moments that shape our future. I choose empowerment and I pray you will too.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 ESV
When my mother was promoted to Heaven almost 25 years ago, my world was devastated. She was my rock. My greatest supporter. My lifeline. My encourager. She was my protector. And maybe, she was my enabler. Whatever descriptions that I use for my mom, she was the purest form of love that I knew on this earth. Then, she was gone.
“But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Hebrews 5:14 ESV
I remember asking my dad, “why didn’t you say anything?,” when I was sharing with him about accepting God’s Grace & Mercy, about surrendering my whole life to Jesus Christ, about the realization of the Holy Spirit living within me. My dad responded, “would you have listened?” It was in that moment of that profound response by dad to my question that God opened my eyes to the value of the earthly father sitting in front of me. The truth is, ‘no, I would not have listened.’
“For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Hebrews 5:12-14 ESV
You see for decades I had chosen to focus on the failings of my dad in my childhood. I had chosen a victim’s mentality versus a mature recognition of the value of the man in front of me. My dad was not perfect by a long shot. But man o man, he was a great father. Through personal life trauma, through decades of professional disappointment, through the rejection of his son, through the loss of his beloved and cherished wife, through it all, he stayed. He was steadfast. He provided. He prayed. He loved.
“Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.” 1 Corinthians 14:20 ESV
So when my father asked those life illuminating words of “would you have listened,” he followed up with, “so I prayed for you.” And he had, for decades. I can only imagine those lonely days, weeks and even months where he did not hear from his son. His prodigal son. His immature, selfish, self-absorbed, narcissistic son, who avoided the mirror by focusing blame outwardly where introspection and personal responsibility was needed. Then God said, it is time.
“Until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,” Ephesians 4:13 ESV
I found joy and reconnection after the devastating loss of my mother. I miss her every day, but with joy in my heart and thankfulness that she did not have to live how her life would have been. I found purpose in her leaving through the reconnection with my dad. There I am old cliche that says “be careful or you might get what you ask for.” When I asked my dad about his childhood and life, I wept as we spoke that Tuesday afternoon over the phone for over 3 hours. As he shared, I realized that ‘my dad has been so much better than his dad, and his dad’s dad, and on and on.’ My dad was the next link in a chain of generational curses and he was doing his best to hacksaw through that chain. And he did!
“Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.” 1 Corinthians 14:20 ESV
For the 23 years that I had my dad after my mother’s passing, he became my best friend. He became the father to me that he consistently was while his immature boy blamed and ran. His steadfast love for me amazes me to this day. My dad went from a father, to a friend who was my dad. He became a my closest source of guidance and encouragement. He guided me as a father to young children often teaching me to not repeat the broken things of the past. He was my spiritual guide, theological source and most beautiful example of what a godly man should look like. He prepared me.
“So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.” 1 Peter 2:1-3 ESV
Why do I write all of this? Because I work with men and young men on a daily basis whose lives have been derailed. I write this because these good men and young men that I work with have and/or are living lives devoid of a father. Sometimes lacking a mother in their life but almost always without a father. My Father in Heaven gave me a great dad, through whose example I now express the hope of a future, the purpose of a man, the role of a father, the love of our Dad in Heaven. My dad’s example compels me to pray. To observe. To love. To walk alongside. But more than anything else, to pray.
“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.” 2 Peter 3:18 ESV
Whatever you have been through, there is purpose. Wherever you are currently, there is hope. Whatever road you are currently traveling, the Father sees you, the Son died and rose again for you and the Holy Spirit desires to abide within you. Just ask and receive.
“Thank you, dad. I am listening.”
You’ve got this.