When I was going through a season of drought 3 years ago and feeling exiled from all that my identity was falsely dependent upon, I prayed and prayed and prayed, read my Bible continuously and sought answers and ‘noise’ from friends, spiritual mentors, the Holy Spirit…it was quiet.
While I was going through this season, I continually wondered why was Paul, a Roman citizen and the new Christian Church’s most fierce advocate, allowed to be wrongly imprisoned and in chains, seemingly forgotten by those who so desperately depended upon him. Seemingly sidelined by the God who had been so effectively using him.
Then one night at my usual Holy Spirit wake-up time of 2:00 am, I was awakened and went out into our living room. The Holy Spirit said to me, “do you want to know why I placed Paul in chains for all that time?” To which I quickly replied, ‘yes’ because this had troubled and perplexed me for several years. Before I go further, the epiphany that God had placed Paul in chains was a real smack in the face. Of course, my limited mind not recognizing that God allows all things to happen, well because He is the God of all things. I digress. Then the Spirit explained something to me that has changed the trajectory of my life. The answer why Paul was placed in chains was: “because Paul was such a man of action, I placed him in chains so that he would write the letters to my churches that would become 2/3rds of the New Testament, be read by billions of people and cause untold millions/billions to come into relationship with Me, God.”
When the Savior knew that my wandering exile had brought me to a place of desperation, submission and needing, He knew that I would hear His small voice directing me in the plans He had for me and the people He had coming into my path. He asked me: “Do you think Paul felt it was worth being in chains when I had him there? He didn’t.” “Myron, do you recognize the value of the time you have been exiled and removed from the things in which you falsely placed value and gained your identity?” I didn’t. But slowly, systematically, methodically things began to be revealed to me as the plans of the Savior, my purpose through the Savior, my identity in the Savior, the love of my Heavenly Daddy. His desires for my life that deliver joy and fulfillment unlike anything life had ever brought me before. I was home in Him.
Now, I am not going to argue theology and frankly if this revelation from the Father to me about Paul doesn’t align with your theological understanding, that’s okay. If you know me, then you know the limitations of the author of this post.
I write this to that one friend out there, struggling with their identity and purpose. I write this as encouragement to you that the season(s) of silence that God allows and even places us in are for us, not Him. I write this to encourage you that God is doing marvelous things in and through you, even as you feel alone and unheard, You are heard and loved by the Almighty God of all things. Trust in Him during this season of drought. He is watering and growing deep, deep roots within you that will not be swayed and whose purpose through you will have impact on so many that he is preparing and aligning in your future path. He has not forgotten you. He has chosen you and He is elevating you to the high honor of the purpose and plan that he has for your life.
God loves you more than you can possibly imagine. That’s enough.