“Stern discipline awaits anyone who leaves the path; the one who hates correction will die.” Proverbs 15:10 NIV
I passed what I can only assume was a young mother and was brought to laughter as I watched her sternly looking into her rearview mirror with finger straight and pointed, pushing it forward and retreating backward as she said something to her passenger(s) with great animation and intensity.
I remember those days as I look in the rearview mirror of our family’s life with fond memories and a lot of laughter. At the time, there was little fondness and no laughter. Rather statements like “don’t make me pull this car over,” or “you’ve had it when we get home,” or the ever popular “stop bothering your brother/sister, or I will separate you (with emphasis)!” I recall many, many moments or utter desperation with friends and family who had older children encouraging us to ‘stay with it. It gets better. It is worth it.’ It did and it was and it is.
I then became a little sad, a little nostalgic and a lot grateful as I realized those priceless moments of automobile anxiety were one of many scenarios that have brought our family to today. Two kids now driving, a third close behind. Few drives involving our entire family and the quiet in the car that reflects growth. I also recognized that the moments or corrective intensity were now replaced with conversation, listening, guiding, suggesting, growing. And with some stubborn resistance on my part, surrendering to the maturing and amazing abilities of our children in this next season of our lives. They are flourishing.
“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” Proverbs 22:6 NLT
The parallel of raising a young child to walking alongside a new Believer has many similarities. Being a born again Christian tells us “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV). The need for cautious, rigid, disciplined living and surrounding ourselves with teachers who guide us with love and stern correction are critical as new Believers so that the course of our new life is set on paths that cause us to grow in our relationship with Christ in correct and true understanding.
Ask any parent of multiple children and they will agree that they have said ‘how can these kids come from the same parents?’ There are parallel truths to raising kids and disciplining new Believers. Consistency. Truth. Discipline. Teaching. Living out what is said. Unconditionally loving. Patience. Walking alongside.
Matthew 7:13-14 in the Bible, the Message translation describes our lives in Christ so well. “Don’t look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don’t fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life—to God!—is vigorous and requires total attention.”
As our kids have grown, we say with truth that we love every Season that our kids are in. We refuse to surrender to terms like ‘terrible teens.’ Instead we choose to approach their next season with prayer, preparation, adjustment and prayer. Did I mention prayer?
As I have made a continued effort to grow in my relationship with Christ through learning, behavioral adjustment, seeking and surrounding myself with like Believers, by observing, through understanding and on and on, the magnificence and marvel that is a true relationship with Jesus reveals itself. He has moved me from milk to more solid food that involves revelation and ever-growing faith. He has moved from leading me to walking alongside. The finger pointing of correction has become the warmth of living in his arms of love. The intense correction has become a relationship of His building and encouraging me. Just as our kids grow and develop based upon our attention and guidance, He is growing me daily into the person he created me to be. That is more than enough.
“I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready.” (1 Corinthians 3:2 ESV).
You’ve got this.