“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” Proverbs 3:11-12 ESV
You’ve been gone from this World six months, today. I had you 59 years and the past 6 months seem the longest. It’s amazing how physical absence robs our heart while spiritual absence confirms hope. Despite how much you loved your family, I know without a doubt that you would never leave Heaven to return to your earthly family. Hallelujah! That awareness makes your physical death a celebration because of the renewal and unrelenting joy that you walk in today.
Today I am compelled to share things that I believe you would affirm in me again if we spoke. Truths you spoke over me and into me during the short 59 years that I had with you.
Pray. Then pray some more. You earnestly prayed for me for decades as I pursued all the rewards of the World. You simply prayed. You would want to share the value and power of prayer. Your prayers quite literally changed the trajectory of my and so many others lives. Then when I was done praying, you would say “pray more.”
Trust. I always marveled at your willingness to trust. During times of financial difficulty, family brokenness, strained father/son relationship, times of plenty, times of joy, times of laughter, times of good (and there were more times of good), I would watch you retreat into the truths of God’s Word. Today you would say, trust our good God more and more.
Accept where you’re at. You walked through seasons of identity theft, not in today’s definition but in the definition of what matters. You endured seasons of identity doubt as you pursued a career as a Pastor, when God had other, more marvelous plans. I witnessed your frustration morph into an identity of God’s son, chosen to love and lead others in ways not defined by man but ordained by the only One who matters. You taught me the value of accepting God’s calling on our lives.
Be content. What a gift you were to me in this area in the latter years when I chose to recognize and believe the wisdom of my very smart earthly father. I don’t ever remember hearing you say “I want.” I vividly remember you praying “thank you, Father for what you have provided.” You taught me lies of want and the enduring joy of contentment. You lived a simple life by the World’s definition but oh what a life of contentment you exhibited. Thank you for freeing me from this prison of want and discontent.
Pursue. You loved learning and taught us to be curious and to pursue knowledge in all forms. You would drag out the dreaded dictionary or encyclopedia as we discussed topics of ‘what is’ or ‘what if’s’ or ‘how to.’ Through decades of a body limited by numerous strokes, your mind remainder sharp and your desire to learn and grow perpetual. You empowered me by teaching me to believe in and pursue the God-assigned gifts within me.
Love. You loved better than you had been loved. You fought through the demons of a difficult adolescence to love your family, your friends and the Church with tenacious love. I believe your hardest area of love was loving yourself. I want you to know that your loving worked and works. Your children love well. Your family loves well. Those blessed to have known you intimately learned the power of genuine love that you lived and gave.
There is so much truth in the acknowledgement of a father’s influence. You went from my everything as a child, to my guardian as a teen (with resentment on my part), to an encourager, to an accepting and loving dad, to the smartest man that I ever knew. These six months have been so quick. So slow. So high. So low. Most importantly, these six months have been a continuation of the legacy you left.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 ESV
Thank you, dad. I love you.
I’ve got this.